Back on the Derech תשובה

My son keeps me up at night.   Not with his cries, but with mine.  And he’s 17.  It happened very slowly, very gradually, one thing being thrown off after another.  Dovi was slipping away, from me, from us, from our heritage.

We did so much to try to help him.  We made the rounds of the askanim in our community, but nothing helped.  He turned a blind eye, a deaf ear, and pushed us away.

The final straw for me was when my youngest, only 6, refused to wear his yarmulke.  “Dovi doesn’t,” he said stubbornly. “Why should I?”

I was going to lose them all.

Desperate, I called the Tehillim Kollel number that’s advertised in the newspaper each week.  I poured out my heart to the kind man on the other end of the line, explaining to him the situation and how my entire Mishpacha was now in jeopardy.  “We love him so much,” I said, “but we just don’t know how to reach him.”  He reassured me that a Minyan of special men would daven for my Dovi, each and every day.

“Is it really each day?” I asked, desperate for reassurance and hope.

“Yes, yes!” he replied.  “365 days a year, even Yom Tov and fast days, we will be davening for your Dovi.”

And so, with a bit of hope in my heart, I hung up the phone, and for the first night in a long time, I slept.

A few days later, our miracle happened.  Dovi, who never wanted anything to do with us, called up my husband, asking if he could spare him a few minutes to talk.  “Of course,” was my husband’s surprised reply.

Dovi poured out his heart, sharing how very alone he feels, how he has no friends, how depressed and sad he is, and how he doesn’t know where to turn to for help.  “Abba,” he said, “If you can help me, I am ready.”

Dovi opened the door for us, and we walked in gently, setting him up with professional help, and slowly, slowly, he became happier and more at peace.  Our Dovi is coming back into the fold.

Last night, my husband and I visited one of the Rabbeim we trust and admire for continued guidance, shared our story, and asked him to keep Dovi in mind as well.  “That’s amazing!” he said, “Such a story, it’s your obligation to publicize.  You must share and let other people know about the power of Tehillim!”  And so we are.